NOT TO BE MISSED

MY HOSPITAL SUMMER

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I hung around the hospital for a week and gradually warmed to having various tubes and wires connected to my body.

I then went home, ate pills, and sought the solace of blood thinner. In what seemed like mere days, I was blessed with a kidney stone, which sent me back to the hospital for another week. I once again became acquainted with the tubes and wires and discovered the unhappy truth of urologists.

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ALLEGORY OF NOTHING

in ,

The other day I happened to look out my bedroom window as a small bird sat perched on the ledge.

The bird was brightly colored, and appeared to be an important bird which had perhaps attended Vassar.

The bird looked at me for a minute then began to flutter its wings. It then started to fly into the open window.

Fearing for the bird’s safety I immediately waved my arms, which frightened the bird away. I then resumed what I was doing (worrying).

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THEORIES OF JUST HAPPENS

in ,

Michael’s shop was a large warehouse on the Jacksboro Highway that was in very bad shape. Entering the dark building it took a while for your eyes adjust. One could slowly make out huge piles of parts, Harleys, and garbage. I also noticed something else. Strewn about were leather jackets with the Hell’s Angels insignia on them. Anyone with common sense would think twice about continuing on. I didn’t think at all.

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IS ART STUPID ?

in ,

I received a comment here at Ed Haddaway Redux not long ago from a Mr. Bobby R*****. In his comment Mr. R***** states:

“ I am 9 years old, and I think ART is stupid. ”

Needless to say these remarks were met with a great deal of consternation at Ed Haddaway Redux.

However in the last week or so I have managed to do some significant research on the matter and I have discussed it at length with some of my colleagues.

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SOCIOLOGICAL THEORIES ON THE MALADJUSTMENTS OF ARTISTS

in ,

Perhaps because children are born relatively young and are incapable in their formative years of doing anything truly useful, adults like to perceive them as highly imaginative and creative.

Major crayons manufacturers take advantage of these idealistic parents and target young children. Once hooked on crayolas and finger paints some of these children go on to colored pencils and harder art supplies. Over a lifetime thousands of dollars worth of paper not to mention paint and other materials are thus wasted in the pursuit of art.

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IS ART REALLY NECESSARY?

in ,

Cro Magnun man sold their artwork at arts and craft fairs throughout the Mediterranean region. Slaves were forced to carry the walls of caves to portable open-air booths set up on the beaches. Soon the art fairs were so popular that it became necessary to invent the jury process to weed out some of the inferior artists. Wars in Eastern Europe followed.

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AT THE CORNER OF ART AND COMMERCE STREETS

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HERE ARE SEVEN HARD TRUTHS ABOUT ART:

1.ART is either a divine accident, or a miserable mistake.... we aren’t sure which.

2.ART is a complete waste of time until you become wildly successful.

3.Sanity and ART don’t mix, but sometimes they will glare at each other.

4.Once you are a successful ARTist, even your toenails become valuable.

5.You probably can’t trade your ART for a new Volvo.

6. They would rather invite a dead great ARTist for dinner than a live maybe great one.

7.Whatever ART is, it's not gravy.